I briefly recounted the driving lesson with Sarah, as we walked along the sand.“And they won’t say anything,” I finished. “Not even to you, I don’t think.”“Your parents are so damn cool. But you say you overheard your mom and Frej? When was that?”“When we came for Thanksgiving.”Heather slowed and stared off at the stack of horizons for a long moment. “Wow ... Your parents have really known since then?”I considered. It was a long time, indeed. “I think so? I mean, I didn’t ask if that was when Frej told her, so maybe not, but ... it sure could’ve been then, from what I overheard. But maybe you’re right. It might have been at Christmas, or in February ... I don’t actually know. But it definitely sounded like she’s known for a while. Like, it wasn’t this trip she found out, that much I’m sure.”She laughed gently. “Interesting.”“What’s so funny?”“Well, that’s another light on things. If they’ve known, but they’ve still kept up their relationship with Frej...”I thought for a moment. “Whoa. ’ ‘No, but I still can’t help but feel guilty Ron.’ Arthur had repeated these lies so often he was almost starting to believe them himself. ‘Well, life goes on brother.’ said Ron, helping himself to another sausage roll and glass of sherry. Deep inside, Arthur did feel guilt about his wife’s death, as he should, being fully responsible but the feelings were not as deep or sincere as they should be. Arthur had always been a selfish man, always putting himself first and though he would admit it to no one, he was glad it was Helen and not he, who had died. He knew it was wrong to think this, but he felt it just the same. ‘It should have been me! It should have been me!’ he repeatedly told his friends and family, not meaning a single word. The funeral had finished and everyone vanished like spirits into the night. Arthur set off for home in his car, whistling a jolly tune. On the back seat of the car lay Helen’s remains, they may well just have been cigarette butts in an ashtray,.
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